OK, now let me ask you something:
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I guess that was more of a statement than a question, but I think you get the idea. This might be my favorite news story of the year, and we're only a couple days in. Here is a quote:
"Something prompted our tiger to leap over the exhibit and all I can do is ensure that's never going to happen again at the San Francisco Zoo," said the facility's director Manuel Mollinedo Wednesday.
Gee, let me think... Hmmm... a tiger... attacking people... what would make it want to attack them... can't put my finger on it... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Wait... could it possibly be because IT'S A FUCKING TIGER?!?!?!?
Have you ever been around a tiger? No, you haven't, because the tiger would eat you. That is what tigers do, they eat animals smaller than them. This is what you look like to a tiger:
That's right, it's food. You look like a delicious roast turkey dinner to a tiger.
Now, I'm sorry that kid got eaten. That really is a bummer. But it didn't suprise me that a tiger ate him, and I don't think kids "taunting" the tiger had much effect. The story also breathlessly reports about investigators searching for "evidence" of taunting in the tiger's case. Apparently, they're examining "a large rock, a tree branch and other items". Really? A rock? Do they think since the tiger was taunted, he made his escape and purposely hunted down the kid that taunted him, or did his tiger instincts take over and just maul the easiest warm body he could? Furthermore, who the fuck is investigating this, CSI: Bedrock? A tree branch and a rock? Who the fuck knows why the tiger jumped out of it's cage?
This also brings up another point. While, again, a tragedy, how sweet would it have been to see a 350-lb Bengal Tiger get a running start and jump a 12 1/2 foot wall, then maul somebody? If there was video of this, it would have been the #1 download on YouTube.
I'm starting to get really sick of this shit. Remember when "Roy" of "Sigfried & Roy" got mauled by that tiger and everyone was so aghast? What do you think happens when you take a tiger out of the jungle, put it on a stage in front of hundreds of people, play loud music and dance around taunting it, trying to get it to do tricks? Right again, eventually IT WILL FUCKING EAT YOU. It's a tiger. Hell, I might even have bit his neck to get that weirdo away from me.
Another one was when Dale Earnhardt died in a race at Daytona. Hey, guess what will happen if you and fifty other jackasses drive two-tons of steel and plastic within six inches of each other at 175 mph for 500 miles? Yup, eventually someone is going to fucking crash and die. These are not surprises, people. They are tragedies, yes, and it's unfortunate they died. But if you stand on a stage and fuck with a tiger, or you race cars, aren't you kind of asking for it?
RIP, Dale. Your classy fans miss you.
No comments:
Post a Comment