This crying, despondent, crippled wretch of a poor soul you see here is Paul Pierce of the Boston Celtics. What led up to this pitiful display of a grown man crying in public was Pierce coming down awkwardly on his right knee, then immediately crumpling to the ground in agony. It was terrible to watch, like Barbaro breaking his leg and knowing that he was imminently going to be shot. Only, you know, they would tell the other Celtics they gave Paul away to a nice elderly couple who owned a farm, so he would have lots of room to run around and play on his knee, which totally wasn't shredded.
In fact, ABC ratcheted up the drama scare by following Pierce as he was rushed to the locker room in a wheelchair, Michelle Tafoya, Danny Ainge and Ric Bucher following breathlessly behind. It was sad to see an athlete work his entire professional life to get to this point, this pinnacle, right to the edge of being a champion, only to see it all so unfairly ripped away with what appears to be such a dramatic, season-ending, possibly even career-ending injury on such a public stage. Because based on his reaction, and the fact that he had to have his teammates literally carry him off of the court, it had to be that serious.
So now the Celtics will be without Paul Pie- wait... oh, my God. Incredible! Shades of Willis Reed! Pierce is coming back into the game! The crowd is going nuts! It's an Act of God! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?!
No, actually, I don't. I don't believe in miracles, and for Pierce to have that kind of reaction, literally crying on the court, as a grown man when one of his legs is hurt to have his teammates take him by his legs and back and put him in a wheelchair, the grimace and the pain showing on his face, then to have him come back in the game and run without a noticeable limp? No fucking way. Here's the man himself:
Said Pierce: "I thought I tore something; that's the way I felt at the time. Usually when I go down, I'm getting right back up, but it was an instance where I turned my knee and it popped, and I was just in pain where I couldn't move."
No, Paul, you usually don't get right up. My new nickname for you is "The Farmer", because you milk every goddamn foul and incidental contact to comical extremes.
Paul Pierce is a whiny, faking bitch. I don't know exactly why he did it, but I have noticed all through these playoffs Pierce is probably the biggest over-reactor to contact or being fouled by far, and that includes Rasheed Wallace and Rip Hamilton. Maybe it was to have an excuse if he sucked, maybe it's just to elicit sympathy. Either way, if he gets beat on D, he falls down and lays there, giving the impression he was bowled over by some obviously non-called offensive foul. He'll lay there with his arms in the air and his eyes agog until his teammates pick him up. After he came back in the game last night, he was fouled by Kobe on a jump shot, Kobe's forearm brushed his face, and he ran around covering his face and grimacing as if he had a red-hot poker shoved into his orbital socket.
Pierce is like that guy you play pick-up hoops with, the one who acts all badass and has all the most expensive, up-to-date gear, but every time he's touched he thinks to make the point he was fouled has to limp around or flop like a fish out of water or pretend that hand you brushed by his abdomen knocked the wind out of him so bad he can't breathe, let alone get up. Then if you call him out on it, you're the jerk for being so callous! I hate that asshole. And Paul Pierce is that asshole.
Well no more. I'm on to your shenanigans, Paul Pierce, you shady bastard. You're like Manu Ginobili only with no bald spot. Don't know why nobody has caught onto this yet, but they will. Especially the next time Kobe blows by you on D and you fall to the ground, crying and grabbing your groin, telling everyone in earshot you pulled your vagina. Not buying it.
1 comment:
Nice.
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